EP #5 - Stick With It - 5 Habits for a Resilient 2025
[00:00:00] Tanja: Thank you for being here today with me. I really feel very honored for you to be here. If you know me, you might have paper and pencil ready already. If you don't know me, nice to meet you. I'm Tanja, and I'm guiding you through the habits and how to become resilient for 2025.
[00:00:58] The show today is meant to be exactly today. And you know why? It's the time where, actually, lots of people have created fantastic and amazing and inspiring habits for 2025. They might have started on the dot on the 1st of January or maybe a week later, whatever suits them well.
[00:01:22] And then what we can see is that slightly, but surely these habits are fading away. 80 percent of people abandon resolutions by mid-February and normalize the challenge. I have seen that myself because I was one of them as well. I had all these fantastic and great ideas for the new year, prepared them on 1st of January.
[00:01:53] I started off with doing those habits and I had so many of them because I really wanted to get a change. I wanted to open a new chapter for the new year. And then I saw myself actually slowly but starting letting them go. And this is also what we see in research studies. In research studies we can see how actually gyms report that they are jammed in January. They are full. You have to queue up almost to get into one of the rooms and slowly but surely they start to desert and be deserted by March actually. By March the gyms are empty again and you get full access to all what you need to do if you are one of those that is resilient.
[00:02:43] So, this episode isn't about blaming ourselves, but it's really about understanding the ‘why’ - why this happens and how to create habits that last. So first of all, let me share a little bit more about why habits fail. Number one, overloading willpower. We definitely make too many changes at once. I was one of them as well. Number two, not sustainable. People set goals they don't enjoy or aren't practical.
[00:03:19] So think about that. Think about the goals that you set in January. Are they really practical and do you really enjoy them? And number three, critical timeline. Research suggests that between three to six weeks is when most resolutions falter. And that's exactly why I'm having this show today. So, we are now about 5 to 6 weeks into the new year, and this is like where it becomes very critical for most of us to carry on with our habits.
[00:03:59] So, what happens when we let go? Small skips compound, leading to guilt and self-doubt. I remember exactly how it felt to me. I was one of those that had like yoga in the morning, and then doing fitness, going for walks, doing this, doing that. And then, maybe it just rained on that specific day or I didn't feel energized enough to get up and go for that run.
[00:04:31] And then I started to feel guilty and I doubted myself and I felt like, “Why am I doing this anyway, right? Because I'm not doing it for anyone else. Nobody is controlling me and nobody is taking a box and giving me a big shout out and say, well done, Tanja. Wow. You are really rocking it.” So, it was just me and me.
[00:04:52] And so why would I have to do it actually. Nobody can see if I'm not doing it and then I thought like well, you know, just give myself a nice joker today and tomorrow I will do it again. So, the brain chemistry, and that was the part that I didn't know. So, what about the brain? So, we start to lose that dopamine hit from seeing progress or checking off a streak.
[00:05:23] And as you know by now, I'm a paper girl, so I like to have my little paper in front here and checking the boxes. So, when I started seeing that I didn't check this and that box, and not only on Monday, but Tuesday as well, then I asked myself, well, what's the point of continuing it? Because now I already have two days where I didn't check it off.
[00:05:49] So why even go further, right? And then the peer pressure and support. started to fade as well. Firstly, in my very first attempt, I didn't have any peers at all. So, I just did it on my own. So, there was no cheering, no motivation, nothing, right? Then I thought, like, I'd be a little bit smarter and gang up with others and share about like that I will be doing yoga and I will be going for that walk. But then one had to signed up for a physio, the other one had an appointment, with the dentist or whatever, you know, and so I was on my own again. So, there was no peer pressure and nobody would know that I wasn't doing that walk.
[00:06:41] So it really starts fading, after the January hype. Let me share a little bit what I'm doing, because this is tested and tried, and I just wanted to share with you the top 5 tips for a strong 2025 habits. So, first of all, tip number one, start tiny.
[00:07:07] Pick one small change at a time. It's so ridiculously small that I would be foolish not to do it, so to say. So that's why start with something that is really, really small. It could be also that instead of putting down exercise daily, you start with, I move for 10 minutes, three times a week.
[00:07:38] This is so small that you can easily achieve it. So, the tiny habits are much, much easier to build on. And this is based on BJ Fox behavioral science behind it. Then, tip number two, anchor habits. Attach your habit to something you already do daily.
[00:08:03] So for example, if you meditate for two minutes after brushing your teeth or write a gratitude journal after your morning coffee, you stack it. And why does this work? Our brain loves patterns and existing routines. We are used to routines. This is so engraved in us human beings that we just love, love, love routines.
[00:08:30] So if you already have a routine, look at them. Look at your morning routine. What are you doing usually in the morning that is just there? You're doing it anyway. No matter whether it's raining, whether the sun is shining, whether you feel not at all getting up from the bed or going to work, but it's there, the morning coffee might be there already, or brushing your teeth.
[00:08:56] And that's when you attach your new habit. Number three. Track progress, not perfection. So, use a habit tracker, or an app, or whatever you want. I do it on a paper, but you can use whatever you want and focus on trends, not streaks. Don't go with streaks. Streaks is a different topic and we can cover that in a different session.
[00:09:26] It's great but it might not be the right approach right now when you're building up a strong habit. And then reward showing up. Not just the outcome, but just showing up. Showing up means so much. You are sitting on your yoga mat. Even if you don't feel moving much or do a full sun salutation, just showing up is all what counts.
[00:09:53] So if you skip a workout, celebrate preparing your gym bag or celebrate rolling out your yoga mat. Whatever it is that can help you. Number four, now this is a really important one, number four, listen now. Plan for setbacks. Expect to miss days and plan for the recovery. So perhaps in your tracker, you might already build in joker days, so that if you have one of those days when you don't feel at all doing that habit, you can just do something else instead. Normalize the messy middle, so to say. So that you feel, hey, nevertheless, I'm not doing the run, but I'm actually doing a walk instead, or a movement, or a deep breathing, so that it still makes you feel really good. And that's all what counts.
[00:10:59] Number 5. Build emotional connection. So, tie the habit to your values and what brings you joy. Make it fun, so that it really feels like you are enjoying it. So, if exercise feels like a punishment, find a movement that lights you up.
[00:11:19] Do dancing, or hiking, or yoga. Whatever feels right to you. Now something else that can happen, and that's me, it's like when the new year kicks in, you might just reward yourself with a new shirt, or a new yoga pant, or a new tea cup. Whatever it is. Or something, a quote, that really resonates with you, that makes you feel strong and connected.
[00:11:50] So that you can connect to your why. It's so, so important to always reconnect to your ‘why’ – “Why am I doing this?” So just sharing quickly, one of my goals is to feel really healthy and glowing in 2025. And I chose glowing because glowing for me is that light that really comes from within and radiates throughout my body, but also throughout my brain. It really helps me to feel, to lighten up and feel strong about my goal, but also about this habit. So, when I lose my ‘why’ and I'm getting up in the morning and feel like so so about doing my yoga and my little fitness, then I just go back to my vision board and take a look at my ‘why’ and just really reconnect with what I've written down there to feel healthy and to feel glowing.
[00:13:01] So, this is what I wanted remind you of. So, when you start writing down your new habit, start with the ‘why’ – “Why am I doing this?” So, whenever the critical time comes back to you, you can go back to the ‘why’, read it out loud to yourself, so that it's a great reminder why you are doing this.
[00:13:23] So, the most critical time is between weeks three to six. This is when excitement starts to fade and discipline starts to matter the most. The brain resists change, so we need this little extra reinforcement here. So, set a reminder to revisit your ‘why’ then around week four or week five into your new habit so that you can create these little wins, right?
[00:13:54] So, my habit for 2025 is to really do my morning yoga. I have tried everything. I have tried seven days a week - didn't work necessarily because I had other things to take care of - for family matters, I wanted also to be here for my kids. And then I went through it and it really made me feel bad about it.
[00:14:21] Then I tried to do it like with three times a week. And I started to even skip those three times. So, it didn't work as well. And now I wrote it into my daily schedule so it's part of my calendar and it's in my schedule, like a meeting. So, 7:00 to 7:30, I do my yoga and it's in my meeting schedule like what I would do for a client, what I would do for an appointment with the dentist or whatever. So, I'll make sure to be on time there, and I do it from Monday all the way to Thursday.
[00:15:03] If I happen to have time on Friday, Saturday, Sunday, where it's usually more planning day, and couple day, and family day, then fine, perfect, great win, actually. But if it doesn't happen, it's fine too, because I did my four yoga classes already. And that's what I really like about this approach.
[00:15:29] But everyone needs to find out her or his approach. And that's what I mean. Just be part of this process. And learn more about yourself. I learned so much about it. I have been chasing habits for the past two years. This is when I read the book Atomic Habits by James Clear two years back. And it was such an eye opener.
[00:15:58] So we actually also have a like a little write up in our social media about his book in January if you want to get back to that and read it up, but it's an amazing book. So, if you want to learn more about the science of habits and all the explanations to it, go to his book - Atomic Habits by James Clear.
[00:16:21] So I really enjoy now talking about the habits today, because I know what it can do to our brain. Wouldn't that be nice to get a dopamine hit, not just for the first four weeks, but for the time that actually comes along after that as well, and make you feel strong and make you feel really good about yourself.
[00:16:45] Good luck with your habit. I'm here, the whole team is here to cheer you up, actually, for your habit. If you feel that you need a little nudge or anything else, please reach out to us. We are all here to cheer with you and to listen to your habits. If you want to share your new habits that you have for 2025, please go to our wall, put it into the comments. I will be so curious to know what your habits are.
[00:17:18] So, so happy for you to have these habits for 2025 to make you feel resilient or strong or whatever you wish to become. You can become everything and you know that. So, we are here to support that change. Best of good luck and have a wonderful day!
